🫠 Psychonaut POV

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Jay and Cory Fiset were high school sweethearts. But somewhere along the way to their 25th wedding anniversary, they drifted into living parallel lives. They’d lost the spark and were unsure whether the marriage would even last. Then, they found psychedelics.

We spoke to Jay and Cory about taking a risk to heal their marriage, the “attunement medicine” that helped them reconnect, and a vision for psychedelics beyond the therapeutic model.

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How did you two discover psychedelics, and what led you to try them together?

Jay: Cory and I were approaching our 25th wedding anniversary, and the last five years had been challenging. Friends had suggested trying MDMA, which we initially dismissed. Our relationship wasn't horrible, but there was a distance we couldn't seem to bridge. After dealing with raising kids and losing parents, we reached a point where we felt we wouldn't make it.

I tried MDMA at an event without Cory, thinking it'd be like smoking weed. Instead, I had a revelatory experience. I realized we'd been building a wall between us, each brick a little justification or story. I knew things had to change, starting with taking care of myself, regardless of whether Cory would join me.

Cory: When Jay came home, we had "the talk" a few days later. Fortunately for us, COVID hit, forcing us to stay home and have thousands of hours of conversations. We approached it with curiosity, trying to understand how we'd gotten to this point. We put everything on the table—fears, concerns, insecurities.

At first, we experimented with mushrooms and cannabis, which was new for us in our fifties. Then once we secured a safe source for MDMA, we leaned in. We called it "truth serum" because it helped us get past what we were holding onto and have deeply honest conversations.

We really stumbled into this work by accident. We were just trying to save our marriage, but about a year and a half in, we realized how much these experiences had opened our hearts. Friends started noticing the positive changes in us, too. That's when we began considering how we could help others.

Tell us about the Connection Experience. How does what you’re doing differ from traditional couples therapy? What does a typical session look like?

Jay: First, we play more of a guide and safety net role than therapist or counselor. Our process is designed for couples with a solid foundation of love and trust, who want a greater experience of connection, intimacy, and presence.

The Connection Experience begins with a thorough intake process to ensure the couple is right for this approach. Then there's a five-day lead-up involving texting, flirting, reconnecting, and setting intentions. We ask for abstinence on days four and five.

On the evening itself, we reset intentions and use two medicines: 3-MMC and MDMA. The point is to get the couple on the same page, being seen and heard as their true selves. Cory and I provide support and suggestions throughout the evening.

The experience has three stages: attunement, adventure, and come-down. Each stage offers unique opportunities for connection. The next morning, we have a debriefing conversation. Then, there are five days of texts about application and integration, and finally, we do a follow-up coaching session.

It's a 10-day container with a one-night experience at its core. We've been doing this ourselves every six weeks for four and a half years, and it has taken our marriage to a level we previously didn’t know was possible.

What is 3-MMC? Why use it for this purpose?

Cory: We call 3-MMC “the attunement medicine." We were introduced to it on our 27th wedding anniversary by a friend who recommended it as a complement to MDMA. Initially, I was hesitant to try it because what we were doing with MDMA was already working well.

We took 3-MMC on our anniversary night, and the experience was incredible. We talked for six hours straight, which was remarkable considering we'd already had thousands of hours of conversations in the previous two years. It opened a whole different level of presence.

The 3-MMC experience was subtle, soft, and gentle, yet amazingly effective at opening the heart and allowing for deep conversations. It was different from MDMA, which is more body focused. After trying it, we knew we had to incorporate it into our Connection Experience protocol.

We still make adjustments based on individual needs, but 3-MMC followed by MDMA is our starting point for couples.

Jay: While there isn't as much scientific data on 3-MMC compared to MDMA, our experience and that of our community suggest it's a medicine that helps the amygdala go offline and opens the heart. It creates a powerful desire to communicate, be heard, and understand.

3-MMC provides space to gain perspective on the challenging experiences all couples face. It allows for true attunement and genuine presence for one another.

Based on your experience, what advice would you give to couples who are considering using psychedelics to improve their relationship?

Jay: If you're in a fundamentally solid relationship but want to explore options to open your hearts and set aside hurt and judgment, please don't wait as long as Cory and I did. We often find ourselves wondering why we didn’t take this step sooner.

If you're beginning to feel space growing between you, or you're coping with your partner instead of creating with them, give this an honest shot. We don't propose this as a panacea for everyone, and certainly there are contraindications and precautions that should be taken seriously. But if you desire presence and connection, you owe it to yourself and your partner to explore the option.

The shift in yourself and your partner, with the amygdala offline and the heart open, is unique to this experience. Have an embodied experience and then decide, rather than dismissing it outright as we initially did.

Cory: It's important to understand that "psychedelics" is a broad term. We're not talking about ayahuasca or mushrooms here. Different psychedelics have different effects and purposes. For example, mushrooms are amplifiers and might bring frustration or anxiety to the surface if that's present in your relationship.

Have some knowledge about the specific medicine you're considering. Reach out to someone who knows about it and can guide you. If you're not working with a guide, do some research about what you're taking and how to take it.

Set and setting are key to this experience. It's very different from recreational use at a party or rave. The intention behind it makes all the difference in the world.

You've had a long career together in personal development. How do you see psychedelics fitting into the broader landscape of coaching?

Jay: In the next 5-15 years, psychedelics are going to change the face of mental health, physical healthcare, and coaching. We're still in the early stages of figuring out the details, but it's clear that the right medicine in the right setting for the right client at the right time can be a quantum accelerator.

We're designing a certification program called “Foundations” to help coaches, consultants, and experts create their own protocols to magnify their existing processes. For example, we’ve already done this with my Mastermind to Millions brand. Currently, we're working on a protocol with a physical therapist to potentially provide more permanent relief for chronic pain patients by combining bodywork with psychedelics.

We see the current psychedelic landscape as having three main areas: the therapeutic model, which we were trained in and still use; the spiritual/ceremonial approach, which we have less experience with but appreciate for its beauty and connectedness; and the middle ground of "healthy normals"—people who are functioning well but could benefit from strategic psychedelic support.

This middle group often includes entrepreneurs, authors, coaches, trainers, and healers. When supported with the right psychedelic protocol, they can take quantum leaps forward in their personal and professional lives.

The applications are unlimited. Properly trained professionals using wisely created protocols have the potential to accelerate human evolution and healing in ways we can't yet comprehend. We're just beginning to scratch the surface of what's possible.

Want more from Jay and Cory?

Catch their fireside chat on love, sex, and medicine journeys, or reach out to learn more about their Foundations certification program.

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DISCLAIMER: This newsletter is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice. The use, possession, and distribution of psychedelic drugs are illegal in most countries and may result in criminal prosecution.